Raw Thought

by Aaron Swartz

Area Scientist’s Study Confirms Own Prejudices

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a study published today in the prestigious journal Nature, Harvard professor Dr. Thomas Jacobson, an expert in the field of physical neuroscience, finds that the gangly cortex, the area of the brain associated with stumbling, fumbling, and general klutziness, is smaller in members of the Red Sox sports team than in other major league baseball players.

The study, entitled “Differential Size Analysis of the Gangly Cortex In Professional Sports”, was conducted using a technique called Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging, or fMRI, in which brain activity is observed on a computer monitor while subjects perform a mental activity. In his fMRI studies, Dr. Jacobson noted significantly less mental activity in the gangy cortex of Red Sox players when he asked them to visualize various aspects of a baseball game.

“Obviously far more research needs to be done,” explained Dr. Jacobson, “but this evidence does appear to support the popular belief that Red Sox players are just better than everyone else.”

The study could have major implications for the entire field of physical neuroscience, which examines how differences in the brain can affect performance in various types of strenuous physical activity, including baseball, American football, running the mile, hockey, and the biathlon.

“I haven’t seen the study but I think it’s extremely brave work,” said former Harvard President Lawrence Summers when asked to comment. “There’s an academic orthodoxy of political correctness that says you shouldn’t inquire too much into the differences between sports teams. Well, Dr. Jacobson has thrown that out the window and science is better off for it.”

The study appears in the July 27th issue of Nature, along with new research showing that eating chocolate is good for your heart, Jews are just smarter than everyone else, semen makes women happier, and all women are bisexual. A new study showing that having sex with scientists is associated with a 20-point increase in IQ is expected to be released soon.

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October 22, 2007

Comments

My psychology professors at the university taught us to not pay too much attention to these kinds of findings. Nazis had brillliant scientists who could scientifically prove the superiority of the Arien’s race. However, it’s pretty fun stuff, and if getting with a scientist really gets you a 20 point increase in your IQ, I’m gonna turn into a scientists’ whore and become super smart, right?

posted by Xavier Vespa on October 22, 2007 #

Blogs are around 24% more likely to contain unverified findings than mainstream news, so I’ll wait until this pops up on CNN before I believe a thing.

posted by Philipp Lenssen on October 22, 2007 #

“My psychology professors at the university taught us to not pay too much attention to these kinds of findings. Nazis had brillliant scientists who could scientifically prove the superiority of the Arien’s race. However, it’s pretty fun stuff, and if getting with a scientist really gets you a 20 point increase in your IQ, I’m gonna turn into a scientists’ whore and become super smart, right?”

It depends. Do you look like scientists on CSI or L&O? If so, yep — 20+ increase.

posted by freedumb2003 on October 22, 2007 #

Today’s date: 22 October 2007

Quote 1: “In a study published today in the prestigious journal Nature”

Quote 2: “The study appears in the July 27th issue of Nature”

Surely today cannot also be July 27th, this year or next, that would break all kinds of laws of psychics… :)

posted by Callum on October 23, 2007 #

wonder why the study canīt be found anywhere else on the internet……

posted by on October 23, 2007 #

Too funny! Did you also know that giving money to scientists makes you wealthier? Try it and see!

posted by GaryB on October 23, 2007 #

I quote one paragraph of one of the articles you link:

Even gay men who deny their own homosexuality will become more sexually aroused by male sexual stimuli than by female stimuli.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/06/030613075252.htm

They know these man are gay even though they deny their homosexuality! Wether the scientist spy these people at home or they throw a bunch of bones to know if the man is really a gay.

That’s really bad science.

posted by pqs on October 25, 2007 #

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